


Breaking Point

by clementimeidk



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: M/M, Self-Harm, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-07
Updated: 2018-11-07
Packaged: 2019-08-20 09:06:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 13
Words: 6,163
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16552934
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/clementimeidk/pseuds/clementimeidk
Summary: Lance has been depressed his whole life, but when he goes to space to fight for the universe, things take a turn for the worst. Luckily there is Keith to help him get by, but will it be enough to keep him from falling.Sorry for the format. don´t go blind please





	1. How it all starts

Lance had absolutely no pain tolerance. Any time he gets thrown against a wall in training, or rolls his ankle, or any small injury, he screams. There have been so many times when the team thought he was dying, when he only stubbed his toe on the stairs.Everyone had grown tired of this, and they would only go check on him if he didn't respond immediately telling them he was fine.Lance had ran into a wall while going to the kitchen, the thud not worrying anyone .Lance sighed. It wasn't that his team didn't care, they just were so focused on their jobs, that they had no time for small thoughts, like laughing at each other when they did something stupid. Lance would have even liked Keith to walk in and mock him. It was better than him being alone, thinking that if he just died right there, that nobody would notice.Keith. Lance had found himself thinking of the red paladin more than he would ever admit to himself. He had realized a while ago that he had a crush on him, but he just didn't know what to do with it. He walked over to the sink to start clearing out as he promised allura he would do. He noticed that Hunk had left out his knife on the cutting board, and he was drawn to it. His depression had gotten better once he started piloting Blue. She made him feel that he was never alone. But his instincts from Earth krept back to him, as he remembered how he used to cut along his wrists in a trance, barely aware of the world around him. It wasn't that he thought about it, like he wanted to. It was just when an opportunity to hurt himself came, he felt dragged to it, like he didn't have a choice in the matter. Lance picked up the knife, and ran it along the surface of his skin. It was cold, the knife worn down a bit from the cooking, but still sharp enough to draw blood. He made one thin line, it barely bled, but it satisfied his urges, as he ran away to his room. He always felt so guilty when he did this, beating himself up for not being able to control himself. But in the end, when opportunity called, he would always let his guard down, and rescar his arms , getting back into the same place as before he left. He could feel Blue´s worry, and she would growl while he did it, but he wasn't hurting himself badly. He would never go deep enough to make a lasting cut. If he did is lightly and often, it felt just a as good if he did it hard but only a few days a week. His arms were covered in months, but he didn't want to worry anyone, so he covered them up. He knew that if anyone found out, they would try to talk to him about it. But there was nothing dangerous about the technique that Lance used. The cuts would only bleed for a few minutes before they made a small, white line.


	2. Keith finds out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Like I would give that away, read to find out people

One day, before training, he made a slightly larger and deeper cut than the rest, and his arm was still hurting when he went to go train with Keith. He had asked Keith to help him with his hand to hand, but he really did it to have an excuse to hang around with him.He noticed when he took a break, that the cut had not yet started to scar, and his suit was slightly pigmented a light red. He tried angling his arms so that Keith could not see it , but it was making it hard to fight, and Keith picked up on the change in his technique.¨Lance, you can't have your arm like that, you have to do it like this¨ Keith grabbed his arm, his fingers digging into the newly formed cut. Lance quickly took his arm away, and tried to walk away. But Keith grabbed his shoulder asking him¨Lance , what's wrong with your arm?¨ Lance could not tell Keith of all people, so he shot back¨It's none of your business, I'm perfectly fine.¨ Keith did not believe him for a moment, but let him go, not wanting to push him too hard. He had noticed a change in Lance. He was less confident, and quiet, and never picked fights with Keith anymore.Keith didn't think much of it, but training today had made him realize that something was wrong.And he desperately wanted to fix things. Keith had realized just how much he liked Lance once he started changing. He didn't know what he had till he lost it, and it hurt to know that Lance was hurting.Keith went to go talk to Hunk, hoping his best friend would know bit about why Lance was acting so weird. He went over to the one of the labs, where Hunk was busy tinkering¨hey Hunk, can I talk to you about something?¨ Keith asked, watching Hunk work. Hunk responded cheerfully, ¨yeah , of course¨ very surprised that Keith had come to him of all people.¨ummmmm, i noticed that Lance has been a bit off lately, and I was wondering if you knew why”he asked, trying not to sound judgemental.¨oh yeah, Lance has depression. He used to take medication for it, which he doesn't have anymore since we are on a giant spaceship. But i talk to him about it all the time. It's just something i always have to be aware of¨ Keith stared for a few seconds before stuttering a goodbye and walking out. Lance was depressed? But he was always so happy and open, and cocky. Maybe that was just him overcompensating. Then it all came together. Lance had stopped wearing his short sleeves, and he had flinched when Keith had grabbed his arm. He couldn't believe it. He doubted that Hunk knew just how bad it was, since he seemed so matter of fact when he told Keith. He went out to go find Lance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey kids, I´m still very new to this, so don´t kill me if you don´t like it. The chapters are short because I feel that they could all be a story on their own. Also, I found out by editing this, that reading the full thing straight threw ruins you mood


	3. The full story

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Once again, read to find out what happens, that is how it works

Lance was just chilling on the couch, watching some Altean reality TV.When all of the sudden, Keith burst into the room, looking like a man on a mission. Keith walked over to Lance, out stretched his hand and order¨Let me see your arm.” Lance tried to look offended, but he knew that Keith knew. He had tried so hard to keep it from him, but he would have found out eventually. He gave Keith his hand, and watched as Keith rolled up his sleeve. Lately Lance had been going deeper, as it took more to satisfy him. His once harmless scars were a background for a plethora of dark red lines, two of which were still bloody. He looked at Keith´s face,as he looked terrified.He felt bad about making Keith worry, but he slowly began to realize that maybe he should be worried. It had gotten worse, and he knew it, and now Keith knew it.¨Lance...¨ Keith said nervously, treating Lance like he was about to crack. He was delicate and vulnerable like this.Lance looked at him with hurt eyes, that seemed to be giving up on trying to lie his way out of talking. ¨I´ll tell you everything, only if you promise not to tell Hunk.¨ Keith understood, he didn't want to worry Hunk. Keith agreed and walked silently to Lance´s room while Lance cleaned his arms. When Lance came in, Keith was sitting patiently, his eyes wide and attentive, like he had been told was a good way to make people trust him¨okay, i'll just start talking and you can ask anything you want¨ Lance said, taking in a deep breath, avoiding Keith´s violet eyes as he spoke¨Ït started when I was 13. I felt so alone, and i didn´t know what to do with all of my problems. I had bad habit of scratching my bug bites until they bled, and when they did i felt immeasurably calmer. That's how it started. I would never think about it, I was just so obsessed that I couldn't stop.¨When my mom noticed, she didn't know what to do, so she put me on this medicine that dulled down all of my emotions. My father thought i was weak, and never respected me from that day forward. I was still on the stuff when I went to the garrison. It didn't help. If anything, they lack of emotion was an excuse to go deeper and more frequently. Cause I didn't feel it, and the pain was more manageable.¨Lance looked up to make sure he was still listening, and Keith was still their, paying close attention. He really, really didn't want to say the next part.¨It was a very bad day, the simulation run went horrible, and the instructors hated me. I was in a horrible spot, and i could see no end to it. I had thought about death a lot, imagined all the ways it could happen. Overdoses seemed to be the easiest. So right after i got my pills restocked, I chugged the whole thing. I passed out within minutes, and Hunk found me in our room.Apparently my heart was stopped for like 20 minutes, and they considered it miracle that I came back. I woke up to Hunk crying, and I felt like crap, because I had made my best friend watch me die¨Lance started crying, guilt consuming him. He looked like a mess, and Keith went in to hug him. He could feel him react to the touch , and he shuddered in Keith´s arms. He so desperately wanted to take his pain away.¨Lance, its ok. It is not your fault. Hunk will always be there for you, and so will I. And If you feel comfortable telling everyone else, I know for a fact that they will too.¨ Lance didn't know what to think. He was just a bunch of emotion and he could barely keep himself sitting upright. He leaned into Keith, soaking up all his goodness, and putting the memory into his heart. For the first time in while, he felt whole. ¨any questions?¨ Lance asked, wiping his eyes. ¨yeah ummm….what did the instructors do? They always seem so serious. Did u get any help?¨ Keith asked. ¨well, when they brought me to the hospital Hunk had told them that he just found me dead on the ground, but when they inspected the room, they found the pill bottle. Basically they just replaced it with an actual antidepressant and let me live my life. Though that was hard, since all of the students had found out. The instructors gave a bit of special treatment until i was better, which pissed everyone off. One of the students pointed it out, and from then on they always gave me a hard time. Hunk was always there for me, and Pidge was too, even though she had no idea why everyone hated me.¨ Keith just stared at Lance. How could he be such a great person after all of that. It was a wonder that Lance wasn´t as broken as him. Keith admired how he got through all of this.¨Lance, you are the strongest person I know. I´m so sorry for everything that happened, and you deserve so much¨ Lance looked at Keith, shocked by his reaction. Yes he had moved past it all, but he wasn't strong. He was weak and afraid, and that's why this had all started to happen again.He just stood up, and left the room without a word.Keith was left alone to ponder what he had just heard. He left, realizing that he was in Lance´s room, without Lance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Omg you guys, nobody is probably actually reading this but whatever. Just comment please if you have any suggestions.


	4. When it breaks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I´ll actually warn you this time. It´s gonna be graphic

A few days later, during a late dinner due to a long day of training, the team was beyond tired. Hunk was off chopping some fruit for dessert, and Lance felt that pull. He tried to ignore it, and just eat his food, make a few jokes, and enjoy himself. But after a while the feeling got stronger, until it was pushing against his veins. He could see them as they rose above is skin. But he couldn't just leave, everyone would get suspicious. He sat there, tortured by his emotions. Nobody had noticed as they started putting away their plates, but right before he rushed out, he saw Keith. Keith had tried so hard to make him feel better. But it wasn't working.Nobody could save him. He was so mad at himself, mad that he couldn't control it, and mad that he couldn't make Keith happy. Keith would be so disappointed.Keith would hate him for this, he thought, slicing into his skin, feeling the sting and relishing in it. Nobody would respect him if they knew, his mind screamed as he ran the knife down his entire forearm. Everyone would be happy if they didn't have to deal with hm ever again! At this he ripped into his wrist at his pulse point, squirting blood all over the place.¨oh no¨ he whispered, realizing what he had done. He got up and tried to walk over to Keith´s room. He fell on his knees next to Keith´s bed, pain filling his brain and his chest on fire¨…...Keith…..Keith..i need you.”He said into his ear, as loud as he weakened body would let him. He saw Keith's eyes open and acknowledge that he was there. He felt his body give in as he crumbled to the ground.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I´m literally horrible at technology my dudes. But I´m trying. As always, I´m open to comments and suggestions.


	5. Keith freaks the fuck out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So this is just how Keith helps Lance, nothing fancy, just straight up plot

Keith woke up to Lance in his face, staring at his desperately. He only really woken up when he heard Lance fall to the ground, and he jumped up and went over to him ¨Lance, Lance,what's wrong¨ as he said it he saw the blood gushing out of his wrists. ¨Oh god, what the hell did you do?¨ Keith asked frantically. He lifted him off the ground and started running to the infirmary. In the light, he could see Lance´s eyes were still slightly open, though the looked glazed over and unfocused. ¨Hey, hey, it's gonna be ok, just keep your eyes open, can you do that for me?¨ Keith asked, trying calm his voice down. Lance just nodded, focusing on Keith. He was fighting to stay awake, Keith could tell. The flow was getting slower and he could feel his pulse getting dangerously weak. He was bleeding out in Keith´s arms. ¨…..i, i, I´m so sorry¨ Lance said, knowing that he was about to pass out ¨its ok, its ok, just please stay with me¨ Keith said desperately, as Lance closed his eyes. He tried to shake him awake, but Lance was out cold, his chest barely rising. Keith threw him into a pod, and watched as the machine jolted Lance around. At last he could see his heart beating, when the computer started beeping again.Keith breathed heavily, the adrenaline leaving his system. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this was written in a very emotionally charged time in my life, if you can´t tell.


	6. Shiro is a good brother

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shiro helps out his lil´ bro

Shiro woke up early as he always did, walking over to the training deck. Normally Keith would join him, but after an hour, he still hasn't showed. Shiro went over to Keith´s room to find blood on the floor. His eyes widened and he saw it trailing into Lance´s room. Inside, he found even more blood. Something was terribly wrong, and shiro knew it as he raced around the castle trying to find the two boys. When he made it to the infirmary, he saw both Lance in Keith in the cryo pods.Shiro ran over to Keith when his pod hissed open and the cold air filled the space. Keith tumbled out groggy into Shiro´s arms. Keith was suddenly wide awake and Shiro asked¨Keith what happened, why is there blood everywhere??¨ the look in Shiro's eyes scared him, as he slowly remembered the events of the night. ¨It was Lance, he came into my room with blood all over him, his wrist cut completely open. I rushed him in here, but he needed a blood transfusion. ¨ Keith and Shiro looked down at the dried blood on Keith´s wrist, Shiro knowing immediately that Keith had saved Lance´s life. Shiro gave him a hug, that Keith definitely needed. Keith was shaking, finally letting himself feel emotions that he had to block out in order to save Lance. He walked over to the pod with Lance´s still body floating. He was relieved to see the steady movement of his chest, and his calm, unconcerned face. Keith had so many questions. Why did he do this?Was he trying to kill himself?Why did he go to Keith of all people? What was making him feel this way?Is there any way to help him? Keith was overwhelmed by his thoughts, his wrist still a bit sore. Hours went by feeling like minutes as Keith stared at Lance, not looking away for a seconds.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey fam, sorry again for the short chapters, its for your own good


	7. The Guilt of a Hunk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the rest of the team finds out , crying ensues

In the morning, Shiro volunteered to go tell everyone else about Lance, knowing that Keith was not mentally stable. Hunk´s face as he ran in broke Keith´s heart. All he saw was guilt, pure guilt, guilt that he hadn't been enough to help him, that his own best friend did not notice all the signs. Hunk walked over to Keith and hugged him tight.  
¨I should have known, i talked to him all the time, and all the signs were there but i just didn't notice. How…..HOW could I NOT NOTICE!¨ Hunk broke into a pain wrenching sob, shaking as he held onto Keith for dear life. They cried together, barely noticing when Pidge and Allura joined the hug, and Coran and Shiro after he checked the pod.It was more emotion than Keith thought he could ever experience in his lifetime. Everyone felt horrible, thinking of all the ways that they had failed him, they had failed Lance. Hunk normally being the one to break away from the sadness, was the last one to stop crying. Surprisingly it was Pidge that had broken apart and told them all that they needed to go take some showers and eat breakfast.They all broke off and listened to Pidge. As they ate breakfast/lunch, Keith could not get the scene out of his head. It kept replaying over and over, and no matter how much he tried to make it stop, the pain felt even worse as it just continued on for the rest of the day.Keith's eyes would focus on one object for a while, completely entranced, hoping to focus on anything but the pain. Everyone was slowly dealing with it, and after getting over the initial shock, realized that they now had the opportunity to help.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok, from now on I´m going to be normal and indent when someone talks.


	8. The Aftermath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance wakes up, no more sneak peaks

Lance woke up early the next day, falling into Hunk´s arms. Everyone had surrounded him except for Keith. He would talk to him later, knowing that his knowledge was greater than those of the rest of the paladins. Keith had known about the scars, and he remembered how Lance had said he was sorry. So he waited to have his turn to talk to him last, hoping to get his answers. Hunk was apologizing over and over in a hushed , breathy tone, while Lance kept telling him it was ok. Pidge had hugged him fast, and whispered something that nobody else had heard. Lance just shook his head and agreement before walking over to Allura. She had a confused look, and she had been the first to start asking questions. Keith knew she was just trying to understand, but putting Lance in that position was really pissing Keith off. She could ask these questions later, and Shiro noticing this, walked over to stop the interrogation. Shiro gave one of his pep talks, trying to make Lance more comfortable. Coron had just kept blabbing about how much he loved Lance, how he was like a son to him. Keith got a bit choked up, it was sweet and heartfelt, and nothing like he expected from Coran. He let Lance walk off to his room, giving him some space.  
Lance had a headache, not a bad one, but it was enough to make him need to take a nap. He barely remembered anything that happened, but knew enough to feel very bad about it. Basically all he remembered was Keith. How Keith had carried him, making sure he was okay, Keith hanging back and giving him space that he definitely needed. Keith had understood exactly what Lance had needed, and not even Hunk made him as comfortable. He wondered what they thought of him. Would they think he was weak? Would they make him stay out of missions? And how did poor Hunk have to explain this to Allura, who clearly had no idea what depression was. Lance gave up and fell asleep, wrapping himself in the warmness of the comforters. Keith walked into Lance´s room a few hours later, to find him asleep. He looked like he almost wasn't asleep, only half unconscious. When he finally opened his eyes, he looked at Keith almost scared, which in turn made Keith soften his expression.   
¨Hey Lance, i know that this is all a bit awkward but i just wanted to understand what happened. Cause i was there, and you really scared me.¨ Keith said breaking the silence. Lance took a deep breath, already knowing what Keith was going to ask.  
¨No, I didn't do it on purpose. I started feeling the craving at dinner , and i had to wait for it to end before i could go off. When i did, i guess i got so mad at myself for being so weak that i couldn't control it. And I'm really sorry that I scared you, but you are the best at putting your emotions aside, so i knew that you would help. I couldn't do that to Hunk, i know how he felt the first time, and I'm so sorry that I have to be a burden to you too.¨Lance hung his head down, not wanting to look at Keith's shocked face.  
¨Lance you are not a burden. We all love you and we all just want you to be okay. I don't know how to help you, but if you ever feel like that again, i need you to tell me immediately so maybe we could talk it out.You´re not weak okay, you have a problem that isn't your fault. And we are here to help you, and I promise we will never let it happen again.¨Lance stared at him, not knowing what to think. Keith wasn't mad at him for doing this. He was taking all of this surprisingly well. And in that moment, Lance trusted Keith more than anyone else. Lance leaned forward and wrapped his tired arms around the boy who had made him feel safe again.  
¨Lance, you just have to promise me, if you feel that way again, don't try to hold it in, just walk away from the situation and find someone to make sure your alright¨ Keith said, breaking away from Lance´s tight grip. Lance nodded in agreement, and pulled Keith back in, longing for the only comfort he had felt in months.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lol,I´m posting this and reading it and not remembering it is my work


	9. Some things never change

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I´m in love with both Keith and Lance guys, but it gets worse

Lance almost always went to Keith. Keith couldn´t count the amount of times Lance had some to him saying that he needed to be around someone. Every so often he would go talk to Hunk, but mostly he would talk to Keith. Hunk felt almost betrayed that Lance had found someone else to confide in. Keith would have to continuously tell Hunk that Lance was still his best friend. But it wasn´t just jealousy, Hunk thought that he had failed Lance, and this made Keith feel horrible. Every so often he would try to encourage Lance to go talk to Hunk, but it was clear that Lance felt more comfortable with Keith. They went on missions from time to time, and Hunk had seemed so mellow, and out of it that he would make silly mistakes. Lance once had to push Yellow out of the way of a ion cannon because Hunk had let himself be outflown. Lance could see that the team was starting to fall apart, and it was apparent that this had started once he had come out to everyone about his depression. This was his fault, and no amount of Keith telling him otherwise would change his mind.One mission, Lance, Keith and Pidge were sent to a galra base to collect information. Pidge was supposed to hack into the information files while Keith and Lance protected her. Pidge was almost done when a squad of senties surprised them. Keith was already dealing with enough foes so Lance had to defend Pidge. He tried to get a good shot that would take out three centuries with one shot, but as he concentrated, the soldiers from were Keith was fighting fired a shot at Pidge. She barely dodged it, but the laser had destroyed the computer that she was working at. The mission had failed, all because Lance had tried to show off. He tried to talk to Keith later on, both trying to take the blame, but the concern in Lance just grew. He was letting the team fall apart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i´m so sorry for those who like short fanfics


	10. It all goes to shit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> read title

It was a big battle. Galra fleets were everywhere, and two showed up once Voltron had managed to take down one. It drew on for hours, and the last thing Lance wanted to think about was his depression. He felt the pull in the midst of the battle, so it wasn't like he could take a break and go talk out his feelings. He let out his frustration through the destruction of the Galra. He was careless in his movements, only focusing on target after target, ignoring the reprehends from Shiro and the rest of his team. It all happened so fast. Lance was fighting off some drones, not noticing the canon charging up, about to strike him. At the last moment he felt a thud as his lion was pushed out of the way. Hunk. He stared in shock as the Yellow lion floated around, electricity sparking from its side. He screamed Hunk´s name through the coms, hearing nothing but static in return. He could hear Pidge scream and rush to Hunk´s aid as Keith and Shiro finished chasing off the fleets. They ran through the hangers, dragging Hunk into a pod. Coran had said he would be out for about a week, but he would be fine. Lance just stared blankly, clearly in shock as the others turned around to look at him.   
¨What. Did you do?¨ Pidge said, her voice like venom. She was beyond mad, she was furious as her voice rose.   
¨You just stood there and did nothing. If you had just paid attention, he would be fine. Poor Lance, struggling with his damn depression. We get it. But you keep messing up, and it's no excuse. You have no excuse Lance. Just get out of my sight¨ she screamed, the detestment imminent. Lance looked empty, as he got up and left. Shiro grabbed Pidges arm and dragged her away to get yelled out. Her outburst was uncalled for, but what she said was true. Lance calmly left, trying to hide the tsunami of self hatred bubbling inside him. This was it. Keith couldn't save him now. He had tried so hard, so hard. But it would never be enough. He didn't care about all the encouragement he had been receiving. He was a burden, he had almost gotten his best friend killed. He let it consume him. He didn't even try to fight back, to reason with himself. His body moved on its own accord, walking into Keith´s room and finding his Marmora knife.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ugggg, its getting emotional again guys


	11. Out of mind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> shit goes down

Keith knew how bad Lance was feeling, and he basically ran to find Lance after he got out of the initial shock. What Pidge had said was cruel, and he knew that he was going to have to console Lance more than ever before. Honestly he had no idea how. He couldn't find Lance in his usual spots, as he started to worry. He walked back into his room to at least change into normal clothes. Just as he got his shoes on, he looked over to his desk, where his blade normally sat. It wasn't there. He looked on the floor and anywhere it could have fallen. But it wasn't in his room. The realization hit him like a freight train. Lance. Oh no. He ran to the one spot where he hand´t yet searched for Lance, finding him with the knife in his hand pointed at his chest. He carefully moved toward Lance, not wanting to scare him. As he got closer he realized that Lance´s arm was shaking, tears streaked across his eyes.   
¨Please, i don't wanna¨ Lance whimpered, begging and pleading as he cried.He looked toward Keith as his hands jolted forward, the knife now inches away from his heart. Keith nearly pulled it away when he realized. If he did touch it , the knife would expand into a sword, and into Lance.So he did the only thing he thought would work. He pushed Lance back, and put himself in between Lance and the knife. Lance shuddered as the knife cut into Keith's chest, drawing a small trickle of blood.  
¨Move, I-I-I don't-want to h-hurt y-you¨”Lance sobbed, willing himself to let go of the weapon  
¨Its ok, i trust you.¨ Keith said so matter of factually. He could see as Lance screamed as he let the knife fall from his grasp. He fell back and breathed heavily. Keith turned back and tried to hug him. But Lance scooted away, terrified of his own friend. Lance was hyperventilating at this point, and eventually let Keith hold him. Keith tried to get Lance to steady his breathe. But Lance wasn't even listening, he was in another world. Through Keith´s teary eyes, he could see the life almost gone from Lance´s once vibrant blue. When Keith had started crying, he didn´t know, but he was sobbing as he held onto Lance, watching as the boy he loved collapsed into him from exhaustion. He loved Lance, more than he could ever admit to himself or anyone else. After making sure Lance was still breathing, he carried him back to his room. It was weird seeing Lance curled up in Keith´s sheets, but he liked it, as Lance finally looked calm. Keith left Lance, going to find Shiro and possibly get his scratch looked at if time permitted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> don´t cry my guys, gals, and non binary pals(Thomas sanders ehehehehehehehe)


	12. Shiro is still a good brother

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shiro is a precious baby who must be protected

He walked past Pidge´ś room, seeing as she both pouted and cried into her pillow. Hunk was her best friend, and he always cared for her when she stayed up too late or didn't come to eat lunch. Keith couldn't help but feel mad at her. No, he was furious. And he let his emotion come back in as he walked up to her and said blankly.  
¨He just tried to kill himself, thanks to you. I hope you feel exactly how you just made him feel. ¨She looked up at him, tears in her eyes, cursed at him and went back to what she was doing. He felt a little bad about it, and he knew Shiro would make him apologize. Shiro. He had to go tell Shiro. He walked into Shiro´s room to find him with his head against a wall. He was clearly stressed out, and Keith hated to add more onto his plate.   
¨Hey Shiro¨ he said meekly, keeping his voice down as not to aggravate the headache Shiro undoubtedly had. The black paladin looked up. Shiro was a mess. Dark circles under his eyes matching his suit. His hair was tousled and greasy, and he reeked from hours he spent on the training deck. Shiro smiled weakly and asked Keith what was wrong.   
¨He tried to kill himself, with my knife. He must have taken it cause i found him with it in his hands. He was trembling and begged me to help him, but if i touched it, it would have activated and……..so i got in between him and the blade, and he let it go. He cried into my arms and he just passed out cause he was breathing so hard. Shiro it was so hard seeing him like that, and i lashed out at Pidge and now everything is just a mess. I'm terrible at comforting people. Why can´t i help him, why can't i just take his pain away from him?¨ Keith had not realized that he was now crying into shiro´s neck as he broke down in front of his brother. How was Shiro still there for him. He was under so much stress and still he stayed strong.   
¨Keith i wish i could take his pain away too. I wish i could take it from all of you. But i can´t. All i can do is be there for you guys. Just make him feel loved, that's the best thing you can do. ¨ Shiro said, his voice almost breaking, but it never did.  
¨ I love him Shiro, I love him like I have never loved anyone else.I'm just so sorry.¨ Shiro didn't even look surprised, and he looked Keith in the eye, teh gaze both worried and comforting.   
¨Keith its ok, its gonna be ok.¨ Keith didn't remember falling asleep, but he felt himself being carried back to his room by Shiro, and he snuggled closer to Lance´s cool body.


	13. It all comes together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Happy ending guys, don´t worry

Keith woke up to screaming. It was building and getting worse and worse, and once Keith was awake, we looked over to see Lance gripping the sheets, sweating pouring off his face.  
¨Lance, hey it me, its Keith, wake up¨ Keith tried. Lance seemed to calm down as he slowly opened his eyes.   
¨It's fine, you're ok, everything is going to be ok¨ Keith said soothingly as Lance finally calmed down. The memory of last night all hit Lance at once. Lance squealed and sat up, scooting away from Keith  
¨Keith OMG did I hurt you?¨”Lance asked. Lance´s concern honestly pissed Keith off. He had almost killed himself and he was still caring about others. What good had the universe done to deserve Lance McClain.  
¨Yeah I´m fine. Please never do that again. I get that you don't care about yourself, and we can only work on that to a certain point. But i care about you, and I love you. So if you won´t stay alive for yourself, could you please do it for me?¨ Lance stared at him wide eyed. Did Keith just say he loved Lance. How, HOW could he love Lance after all he had done to him, after all he put him through, after how selfish he had been. His thoughts had turned into words that he didn't realize he was saying.  
¨Why, how could you love me?¨ he asked Keith, shying away from his crush.   
¨I love you because of so many things. I love how your smile is always different depending on what you are happy about, and how every one of them is beautiful. I love how you can make light of the darkest situation and make me, possibly the most emo person to live in space, actually laugh. And most of all I love how selfless you are, and how much you care for others. I love you Lance, and I hate how I can´t make you see how amazing you are¨ Keith looked into Lance´s eyes lovingly, trying to convey his message in the best way possible. He meant everything he said, and he just wanted Lance to try to see things from his perspective. Lance was dumbfounded. Keith liked him. Keith LIKED him. He hadn't realized the smirk that began to form on his face. Keith flushed, his eyes looking vulnerable. It was all out their, his feelings for Lance had just been relieved. And Lance was smirking, smirking!   
¨Oh, well, i like you too. Like a lot. I don't know if I´m even capable of love, but I´ll try for you. I´ll try¨”Keith´s blush spread even further, deepening the shade to an almost red tone. He reached out and hugged Lance, holding him like he never would again.   
¨Your gonna be ok Lance, we are gonna be fine¨ Keith said strongly. Lance smiled at him, so grateful to Keith for just existing.  
¨Ok¨

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I´m so happy I finished it, that was just so emotional and I wrote it months ago

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, so this is my first fanfic that I am posting. I hope you enjoy it. I´m just really glad to be a part of this website. It really inspired me to write better. Some of you guys just get me, and I´d like to thank you for it. Love you-Laureliz


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